#1: CAN I PAY FOR TWITTER WITH MY CARBON CREDITS?
Elon Musk + VR that makes your head explode + COP27 + Norwegian man identifies as disabled woman + MORE!
COP 27: CARBON CREDITS. WATER TAXES.
Whenever international elites with inflated egos congregate at a global summit, you can be sure to find them discussing some Dr. Evil tier plans for world domination.
This time around, a former central banker told the audience at COP27 in El Sheikh, Egypt that carbon credits could soon act like currency.
What does that mean exactly? According to former Bank of England advisor Michael Sheren, it involves “tokenizing” the value of nature or “water, trees and biodiversity.”
HEALTHY NORWEGIAN MAN IDENTIFIES AS DISABLED WOMAN
A perfectly healthy 53-year-old Norwegian male banker has decided that he now identifies as a disabled woman who uses a wheelchair.
Jorund Viktoria Alme has no physical limitations from birth or otherwise but still “almost always” travels around on wheels.
Mind you, this was a feature on Good Morning Norway and not the Norwegian version of Maury or Jerry Springer.
Listen to what one disabled woman had to say about Alme’s lifestyle: “This leads to the to ridicule of those who face challenges related to their disabilities on a daily basis.”
ELON MUSK AND THE TWITTER VILLAINS
Who doesn’t love a good villain?
Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter has sent the establishment media world into a frenzy.
If you were to listen to the George Soros-funded Media Matters the richest man in the world is getting his advice on how to run the platform from “FAR-RIGHT BIGOTS”, “EXTREMISTS” and “MISINFORMATION SPREADERS” (including yours truly).
Some of the insidious suggestions Musk has taken notice of include: making Twitter have a PVP mode, including conservative voices on the company’s Safety Board and not censoring people.
Oh, the horror!
MELONI-CHAN SENDS MALE MIGRANTS TO MACRON
A month into her term as the first woman Prime Minister of Italy, anime-appreciator Giorgia Meloni has delivered on her promise to blockade incoming migrant ships.
After the migrant-carrying vessel Humanity 1 refused to disembark from Italian ports, Meloni said let the women and children claim asylum and send the men packing to France.
Meloni’s critics are left biting their tongue. After all, what kind of jackass would get upset about giving precedence to the vulnerable? Oh right, a university professor would…
Everybody knows that Europe’s migration problem is a predominantly male one. Don’t take my word for it though. According to demographic studies, as many as 66.26% of the migrants passing through Italy and Greece were men old enough to serve in the military.
BRAIN DEATH VIA METAVERSE
If you want more evidence that we live in a futurist hellscape, let me introduce you to NerveGear – the virtual reality headset that literally blows your brains out if you lose the game.
NerveGear is the grim invention of Oculus Rift creator Palmer Luckey (pictured below.)
Palmer was driven to think of the concept because the “idea of tying your real life to your virtual avatar” has obviously always fascinated him. Taken to the extreme, that involves raising the stakes to such a level where losing a game could mean having a gaping hole in your skull.
How exactly would death by VR work? Well, Palmer explains…
“I used three of the explosive charge modules I usually use for a different project, tying them to a narrow-band photosensor that can detect when the screen flashes red at a specific frequency, making game-over integration on the part of the developer very easy. When an appropriate game-over screen is displayed, the charges fire, instantly destroying the brain of the user.”
Cue the infamous Scanners scene…
SUPER SCARY CERBERUS COVID VARIANT
Let me introduce you to the new Covid-19 variants: Cerberus (BQ.1.1), Typhon (BQ.1) and Minotaur (BF.7).
Look on the bright side… If you know anything about Greek mythology, you will know that Typhon got blasted by Zeus’ thunderbolts, the Minotaur was decapitated by Theseus and Cerberus was captured by Hercules.
This all brings me back to when scientists decided to skip over the “Xi” variant so as to not offend the world’s favourite Winnie the Pooh lookalike.
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